Saturday, August 27, 2016

i miss you

I miss you
I miss the way your hands would ruffle the back of your hair
and it looked awful but you hadn't stopped since you were twelve
and every time I tried to make you stop I just laughed

I miss the way your glasses hung a little crooked
how you always looked at me sideways when you thought I wouldn't notice
how could you ever think I didn't notice every thing about you

I miss the way your jacket was always a little rumpled
how you shoved your fists into your pockets in the cold
how you ran your thumb over your lower lip when you thought hard

I miss being able to look at you when that smile creased your face
I miss walking into your arms and how perfectly our bodies fit together
I miss your voice and your eyes that held a whole universe that I'd only skimmed the surface of

I thought I would still be gazing into them now
still searching
still discovering
still learning
all that there was to know of you

I thought we had time
I thought we had each other
and that was it

I miss you
and I want to see you again
without the knot in my throat and the searing pain in my chest and the weight of the world on my shoulders

I don't know what I'm supposed to do
without seeing you
one
last
time

please
don't be gone

 
disclaimer: not written from personal experience just so no one freaks out

38 comments:

  1. THANK YOU FOR THAT DISCLAIMER BECAUSE HELLO I WAS FREAKING OUT.

    Now.

    Oh my goodness that was beautiful <3 :') If you could just bottle up some talent and sell it to me that would be great thanks. Seriously, I love your writing so much. Wow.

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    1. I THOUGHT I SHOULD PUT THAT CAUSE I WOULD FREAK OUT IF I READ THIS ON SOMEONE ELSE'S BLOG HAHA.
      Psssssssssshhhhhhhhh, you're doin fine on your own. ;) Thank you so much, Grace :') Feels.

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    2. Grace Anne and I have the same reaction to this post. Just saying :p and I agree with Vanessa, too - this makes me miss the person fictional you is missing. If that makes sense. HEARTS TO YOU, basically, for being a rockstar.

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  2. I am missing the person you are missing that you write about. The love I have for your writing is a lot.

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    Replies
    1. Ugh, thanks, Vanessa. :') That means so much!

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  3. SO DEEP AND BEAUTIFUL *all the heart emojis ever*

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    1. *all the crying emojis ever* THANK YOU <3333333

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  4. Well that was an onslaught of feels only slightly buffered by that disclaimer that was obviously there for me because I was beginning to freak out.

    This was beautiful, Olivia. Your (AMAZING) writing never ceases to strike something in me. It's just so beautiful and soul-touching and oh please Olivia never stop writing!

    Katie katieconfetti.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. HAHA, I would've been too- I don't blame you; it was pretty dramatic. ;)
      Thank you SO much, Katie!!!! Your comments are always so thoughtful and sweet <33333333333333333333333

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  5. "I miss walking into your arms" -- wow, I love the way you phrased that. Also, I can totally relate to that line and the feeling of missing someone, especially right now. Love your way with words! :)

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    1. Thank you :''''''''''''') Gah that means a lot coming from you. <3

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  6. BRB, let me lay on the ground because I fell over because of this amazingsauce. xD

    xoxo Morning

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    1. HAHA. this is the kind of response I aspire to in my writing xD thanks, Morning xx

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  7. THIS IS SO FREAKIN BEAUTIFUL LIV WOW I AM SO PROUD OF YOU PLS REMEMBER ME WHEN YOURE FAMOUS

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    1. AHAHAHA OH MY GOSH MARY SHELLEY THIS COMMENT LITERALLY MADE MY NIGHT I LOVE YOU AND ONLY IF YOU REMEMBER ME WHEN YOU'RE FAMOUS-ER THAN ME, K?

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  8. so I was literally considering emailing you today and being like OLIVA I MISS YOU AND YOUR WRITING HERE IS A BUCKET OF MY TEARS BECAUSE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LOVES and then YOU SHOW UP. and i'm so happy right now hadyghakeaa *screams forever* so yes i was veryvery excited to see this show up.

    but i feel this down, down in my old self that can't learn to let love go. hopefully someday every last piece of it will be let go and i'll be able to fully rely on the Love that is as selfless as the plants that grow. xx

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  9. OKAY I LAUGHED SO HARD WHEN I SAW GRACE ANNE'S COMMENT BECAUSE

    i was worried too.

    LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL -- seriously tho, so well written. xD xD

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  10. DUDEEEE THAT DISCLAIMER

    PPRRRAAAAIIISSSEEEEE JEEEEESSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSS FOR THAT LOL I BOUT DIED THIS WAS SO SAD :'''))

    but also really amazing and wow I can't

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  11. THANK YOU FOR THAT DISCLAIMER.
    like no lie i was starting to freak out...

    and whenever you write olivia i'm so happy it's ridiculous. but i just really love your writing like okay it's so GOOD <3

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  12. My little heart. My poor little heart. Seriously. WHY are you so good?!?! I was kind of wondering, too, before I saw the disclaimer ;)

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  13. This is sososo beautiful, I love your writing so much <3 you have serious talent! :)

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  14. Haha, I was definitely freaking out! Sorry, I guess we just love you too much. :P

    With love and all joy,
    Allie D.
    www.alliesblogdesigns.blogspot.com
    www.friendlovesatalltimes.blogspot.com
    www.sincerelyallied.blogspot.com
    www.spreadingmyjoy.blogspot.com

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    1. Hey Olivia! I nominated you for the Ultimate Writer Tag on my blog, Spreading My Joy here: https://spreadingmyjoy.blogspot.com/2016/09/the-ultimate-writer-tag.html

      With love and all joy,
      Allie D.
      www.alliesblogdesigns.blogspot.com
      www.friendlovesatalltimes.blogspot.com
      www.sincerelyallied.blogspot.com
      www.spreadingmyjoy.blogspot.com

      Delete
  15. FRICK OLIVIA THIS IS JUST ASDFGHJKLKSJJSJDND

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  16. OKAY STAOPHFHOSPpppp

    I CAN'T EVEN SPEAK RIGHT
    TYPE WHATEVER
    HI
    OUCH

    U HURT MY HEART THERE <3333333333333

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  17. i was about to freak out so thank you for the disclaimer. x)

    my eyes were stinging through this one. Olivia Knight, you are gifted by God to write, and I hope when the quiet nights come and if doubt ever dares to whisper in your ears, you remember that so dang hard, you shooting star.

    i'm honestly about to go back to the beginning and read it again.

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    1. "I miss the way your jacket was always a little rumpled
      how you shoved your fists into your pockets in the cold
      how you ran your thumb over your lower lip when you thought hard"

      ...I don't even understand how this is possible. excuse me while I go cry somewhere.

      Delete
  18. This is beautiful and heartbreaking, I am in love with your writing. Gahhh I can't believe you can write such things when you haven't even experienced it (which I'm glad you haven't or else I might be sobbing). you have amazing talent and just, ah! So good.

    Elizabeth
    http://whimsicalthoughtss.blogspot.com/

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  19. Dude the disclaimer was a good thing bc seriously is had me crying and I'm like WHO DID THIS OW.
    on the other hand....the pain was the most beautiful I've felt in a very long time. WOW.

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  20. Stunning. Seriously this just pulled my heart in two. gahhh so good.

    (https://paxcontramundum.wordpress.com/ )

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  21. I love this. This is perfect. <3

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  22. This is depressingly blissful...<3

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  23. I loved this so so much. I could hardly believe it wasn't written from personal experience, but it was so hauntingly beautiful and real feeling. Amazing. SO glad I found your blog tonight :)

    Love,

    Anne // www.aportraitofyouth.co.uk

    ReplyDelete