Saturday, August 27, 2022

do i?

I come back to my
Childhood home
And sit on a new bed

I still don't fold my
Laundry for five days
And wear my old Duke shirt instead

Last week I went for
A walk and it was
Like going back in time

Coming back to 
This place
So familiar

And changed

They cut down Mom's
Dogwood last week
Without even asking

Last night it was stormy
When the farmer in the tractor
Was mowing the field

I tried to walk
Fast enough to miss him 
At the corner

And I didn't wave

But I still walk 
Barefoot over the ruins of a
Once paved gravel road

I still look at the
Sky unflinchingly
When I can
Pad down the dirt paths

I still strain to keep the curtains
And windows open and let all the
Light in that will come

I still worry too much 
About my younger brothers 
And what a year will bring

I still bask in the sun and
The velvet blanketed dusk and 
My husband snoring on my arm

I still laugh too loud and ride
Bikes occasionally and make breakfast and
Floss when I think about it

And I know 
I'm ignoring the question 
Again

But it's just that
There's too much to unravel
Tangled up in the trees and the pine needles and the cicadas scratchy legs

Lately I answer you in a different
Tongue and it comes out wrong
Do you understand me?

Do I?