Wednesday, January 16, 2019

to say i love you

you say I love you
without even knowing what it means
on the drive home from your high school dance
and wonder where she came from

you say I love you
knees weak at the altar
and breathe a deep sigh of relief
driving away from the noise hand in hand

you say I love you
without making a sound
crawling into bed another late night on the job
careful not to wake her up

you say I love you
as the wrinkles come
while picking up wandering babies left and right
and setting 17 year olds back on their feet

you say I love you
as the sunsets brighten and fade in the sky
as the moon grows and shrinks once again
and you wonder how many she has left

you say I love you
when she can't remember your face
and you show her the pictures
and tell her their names, four times since 1 o'clock

you say I love you
as they roll her down the aisle past crumpled teary faces
to a place in the ground out of which she loved to bring life
next to a plot awaiting your leisure

you say I love you
to the empty pillow beside your own at night
and wonder how it could go by in the blink of an eye
and why it had to be her first and wish you had just one more chance

to say I love you
in a thousand different ways


Tuesday, December 11, 2018

waking up

and it's strange
waking up with a smile
on my face
and sunshine on the snow
because not long ago
the sky was blue
but I couldn't see
past the bare trees
and my comforter
was fluffy white but
I only felt it's weight

and it's strange
seeing the light
and feeling the words
well up in me again
it's strange to listen
to music and
let the words move
me to feel
to taste the coffee
with creamer
and not just its
scorching heat

and it's strange
waking up
with a smile
put on my face
by you

and I don't know
maybe it's just strange
to wake up
and have you

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

scared of

And
I don't know

I'm just scared to look in your eyes
Cause you're looking at me like I mean something
Like maybe I mean everything
And the pen in my hand is shaking
Cause I love those eyes
And I'm scared of them
Cause they're not afraid of love
They're not afraid to hurt for love

And
I don't know

Why I'm so scared
I'm scared to have lest I lose
I'm scared to jump lest I fall
I'm scared to hold you close lest you slip through my fingers

Gone

But mostly I'm scared that I'll leave you bruised
Cause I love those eyes
And I can't see them wounded

But
I don't know

Cause every time I look away and look back
Your eyes are still looking into mine
Like they'd be content to do the same forever
And I feel myself smiling in spite of myself
Cause I see the smile on the edge of your lips

And it's hard to be scared when you're right there
Unshaven and laughing and so familiar

And it's hard to imagine you gone
Cause you've always stayed