Friday, August 5, 2016

in my mind

 [ glimpse into the dark before the dawn aka JESUS in my mind ]


in my mind
in the darkness
there's an abyss
surrounded by a mist
of all the doubts
of all the shouts
of all my fears
a lake of tears
where words
become swords
when I try
to cry
of my pain
whispers say I'm insane
don't tell stay in your cell
pretend you're well
hide from the crowds
all the shrouds
of your sin
you've given in
of all the guilt
that you built
yourself a prison
of derision
where you're mocked at
and you're scoffed at
you've caved
you're enslaved
and there's no escape
in the darkness
in my mind

41 comments:

  1. I could literally just go bawl rn because this is literally perfection and I feel this so unbelievably deeply, every word. It's so real. Wow.

    Olivia, you are an incredible, beautiful human being. Keep writing because we need this-- we need *you*.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. KATIE HOW DO I WORDS.
      i thought of you when i was posting this cause you inspire me to be brave and write and post stuff like this ok :') SO THANK YOU.

      Delete
    2. ....literally i just happened to come back and i see this and omg my heart is so full that you thought of me when you posted this and your sweet words like can i just sob?? <3 love you, Olivia, stay so so brave.

      Delete
  2. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

    That is all.

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  3. Olivia, you're amazing. I love this and I love you so much.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I nominated you for the Liebster award :)
    Lovely post!!

    xoxo
    Leah

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AH, YAY! sorry, I am SO behind on tags!
      THANKS, LEAH <3

      Delete
  5. I'm rendered speechless. I feel this so deeply, and I understand like every single word. Owwwwww <3 And Jesus is there still. Excuse me while i go and cry somewhere.

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    Replies
    1. CAN I COME WITH YOU AND CRY.
      yesssssssssss, he is through it all.
      thank you for reading and commenting, autumn :''')

      Delete
  6. I'm actually crying right now. Because I feel this. I FEEL this. You put into words the exact feelings I just came out of. It stabbed my heart.

    I am sitting here completely amazed because every single word I KNOW. I KNOW these feelings. All to well. <3

    thank you

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    Replies
    1. THIS BREAKS ME. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND OUR GOD LOVES YOU SO MUCH MORE THROUGH IT ALL. GAH. i'm so thankful. thank YOU. <33333333333333333

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  7. Liv this is so, so beautiful and relatable and you're such an amazing writer

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *cries*
      thank you, mary shelley <3
      and so r u

      Delete
  8. imma go feel ALLL the feelz now
    <33

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. can't even handle the fact that my words can make someone feel all the feelz :') <3

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  9. Replies
    1. <3333333333333333333333333333333333
      He's there through it all

      Delete
  10. I love the meter(?) you used here, it works perfectly with the content. Brilliant as always.

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    Replies
    1. LOL idek what the meter is but THANK YOU x103984. that means a lot especially coming from you :')

      Delete
  11. this is so sad yet beautiful. I'm so glad I came across your blog, it's just amazing <3

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    Replies
    1. alksfjlsdkfjlkdsjflkd. thank you so much, arushee :''''''''''') <3

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  12. this made me think about David Crowder's album Neon Steeple (which I listened to this morning), because it talks so much about grace that reaches the depth of our sin.

    However dark the darkness seems, there is not space that He cannot reach (Psalm 149)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YESYESYES.
      His grace >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
      need to go look up that album.

      Delete
  13. waaaaaaaaaaatttttt omg. i am speechless. this. just this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SAMI. gah. laksjdfdlskfjldksjf. same.
      thank u thank u thank u
      <3

      Delete
  14. no words. but we know that there is a Light that melts away all the darkness until we sit out under the old pine tree from our childhood and the Golden light lifts up over the horizon and in our hearts we know that He has never forsaken us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. your comment = no words for me. yes. to. all.
      <3 <3 <3
      i missed ya

      Delete
  15. I was about to type in no words for this but cally beat me to it! I really do like this a lot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you, vanessa :'''''''''''''') <3

      Delete
  16. Such beautiful thoughts, Olivia. Your words entrance me, you know that?
    peridotcove.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. no, i didn't know that, but that means so much to me, so thanks for telling me :'D <3

      Delete
  17. ..........
    Olivia, I love love love this.
    Not only because the writting is beautiful and perfect, or because you said it so clearly.
    You took me back to that place and reminded me of the price that has been paid.
    The life I have been given.
    I love this <3
    -elissa // letters-to-jayna.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ELISSA, oh my goodness. your comment just made my life. that means so, so much to me. so, thank you for this :') you are too sweet.

      Delete
  18. Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes.

    this is so good i can't handle it.
    keep saying these things, girl. they need to be heard.
    over and over and over.

    (also p.s. i have moved to a new space! you can now find me at WAKE ME UP )

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  19. I feel like this should be in one of those blackout poems? You know, the ones where you black out sections of a book to make a poem? I love your words, ok?

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  20. your honesty is crazzzzy. also your skill. I adore this. I know this. I think we all know this - thanks for putting it into words.

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  21. NONONO HOW DO I WORDS???

    WHOA. <3 THIS IS INSANELY BEAUTIFUL AND RAW AND HONEST AND BRAVE.
    i honestly can't smash my keyboard enough to express how hard i feel this so i'll just leave all my tears here instead yeah <333333333

    ReplyDelete