breathe //

I trip outside and down the road in a rush of adrenaline. 

The sky burns with a thousand shades of pink and orange and red sun, sketching silhouettes of thin, thick trees older than I am. 

I came to take pictures. I take them, looking on through a poor mirror of the image in an electronic screen.

Then I put it down.

It's quiet.

I breathe.

My eyes feel insufficient to take it all in. Colors smearing into each other to a dark blue. The moon shining a blurry, silver crescent hundreds of thousands of miles away. The field stretches to woods, full of thick grass and fox tails and wet dirt and weeds. A red light flashes above the heavy piled clouds on the horizon, a lone airplane headed east. Bats flitter by overhead. Crickets chirp. The sound of cars zooming by in the distance, always rushed, always hurried, always somewhere to be, late.

The sun has all but disappeared, sinking too fast in perfect time below the horizon, as it does everyday. Another sunset for someone else, another sunrise for another. A thick fog rises across the field, cloaking the ground and trees in a misty gray. The moon continues to rise, waiting patiently on the retreating light. 

The air is cool and wet. The night is dark. The clouds, dark and looming, pile higher, the fog steadily advancing. The flashing light of the airplane is nowhere to be seen, the small lives and beating hearts on board forgotten. My feet turn to walk home, my beating heart left behind, too busy feeling for the other confused, hurting hearts in this huge minuscule world.

We're so small and so lost and so loved. God is so close. Why do we resist him? "He will fight for you- you need only be still." 

I breathe.

//

I don't understand a lot lately, and I feel it. I know and control so very little. But this I know-

"I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the last he will stand upon the earth."