The ghosts of everyone I've ever loved
pressed, slipped, desperately crammed, shoved
between the pages of a plain notebook
How is it possible for something so unexceptional
to hold so much of my heart
Yet every time I think I've moved on
and gotten past an ache or love an aching love
I come back to the words
whose truth is so essential to my being
that I don't know what I'm thinking
cause you don't "get past" or "move on"
from the truth
But all the truths learned
all the ghosts collected
rise up in me
Like the truth that wore flowers in her hair
and the truth whose back was marked with ink
or the one who hid the hurt from everyone who loved her
or the one that drove a truck as old as me, listening to music as old as him, through fields older than us both
what about the truth that gave her entire self to give me life
what about the one that laughed too easily
what about the truth I called home
I don't wanna get past any of these truths
but I don't know how to live with the weight of
the words / truth / love on my shoulders
So I try to lighten the load,
lay some away in storage
in the unassuming black journal on my desk
until a night like tonight
When I open it up
and all the words that mean so much more than just words
come rushing up at me
come crushing down on me
And I ache with a love for each truth
each loss past and to come
and it's all just so heavy
My life right now. Is this. I look back on the people that have come and left and the events that became memories and I dwell in the feelings. Keep those feelings close to you and learn from them. God is good. And so is this piece of thoughts!
ReplyDeleteAw, I'm glad you can relate. :) Thank you so much, V <3 <3
Deleteyour writing always makes my heart ache in the best way possible. you honest to goodness have one of the most beautiful souls of anyone i've ever known.
ReplyDeletewHAT my heaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrtttttttttttt <33333333333333 ugh I love you so much thank you so much what are words
Delete...I am literally at loss for words right now so I will use caps to explain what it is that I am feeling.
ReplyDeleteYOU NEED TO WRITE A POTERY BOOK AND I WILL BUY EVERY COPY BECAUSE THIS. *THIS*. OH, MY HEART...!!!!
This is amazing. You're amazing.
xx Mackenzie
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MACKENZIE.
DeletePRETTY SURE CAPS CAN'T EVEN HANDLE MY FEELS RN.
YOU ARE AMAZING. THANK YOU.
dude. if I published a poetry book................kfjglksdjf I would be so happy
This is beautiful! You capture emotion so well. I love this. Amazing job. <3
ReplyDeleteiviewrites.blogspot.com
Thank you so much, Ivie oh my gosh :''''''''''''') <3
DeleteMy heart aches...you capture things so beautifully and never stop being messy like that, it's the best. <333
ReplyDeleteAnna | www.worldthroughherheart.blogspot.com
agh Anna thank you so much I can'talksjflkdsfjs. <333333333333333333333333333333333
DeleteOh. My. Goodness. I am literally crying right now.
ReplyDelete"Yet every time I think I've moved on
and gotten past an ache or love an aching love
I come back to the words
whose truth is so essential to my being
that I don't know what I'm thinking
cause you don't "get past" or "move on"
from the truth"
I read these words over and over again because they were so TRUE. Honestly, the holes in your heart when you lose someone never get filled by another human being, because no human is the same. Nonetheless, I love the hopeful conclusion, because I know if it weren't for Him, we would remain empty and aching.
Wow... girl, when are you gonna publish a book of your poetry? Because this is award-worthy stuff right here. <333
xoxo
Lizzy
YES YES YES. UGH MY SOUL.
DeleteThank you so much for all these words.
And gahhhhhhhhh I would love to :') prolly wouldn't get there without y'all's ridiculously lavish compliments and pushing me to do it tho :') <3 so much luv
maybe one day x
You go girl. Musings at 1am are just right ... you've caught a feeling I think a lot of us recognize (??) Journals/notebooks/blogs ... entries and diaries and notes about life are so WEIRD and you nailed the confused sort of paradoxical love/hurt relationship a lot of us have with our past work ...
ReplyDeleteanyhoo... thanks for sharing :)
AW NO THANK YOU FOR READING AND SHARING :') so nice to me X) <3
Deleteommggg so beautifuuuuul
ReplyDeleteasjklfdhlskdjflsdk THANK YOU <3 <# <3 ;2l3kl2
Deletehahaha xoxo
"It's not all good, but God is good." LIFE MOTTO. <3
ReplyDeleteYes, it is <3
DeleteXOXOXOXO
DeleteTHANKS YOU GUYS <3
and sameee
Lovely <3333
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Abby <3 <3 <3 <3
Deleteugh
ReplyDeletebut seriously this is SO GOOD you're just so good. this take on letting go and moving on is so much BETTER than what's usually promoted because really you can't. those points of truth that were reality in your past are set there now. you can walk away but they will always be there, like stone memorials- maybe miles away but looming and solid nonetheless. ugh again i love this so much
someone else commented to please write a poetry and yes please do because I would definitely buy it.
xx nina
i'm cRYING. you don't even know how much this means. thank you thank you thank you. gsohskjfhsdkjf xxxxxx I LOVE U
Delete"Cause you don't "get past" or "move on" from the truth."
ReplyDelete<3
Please write the poetry book, give the people what they want!!! Love it!
YOUR COMMENTS ARE CONSISTENTLY, LIKE, MY FAVORITE THINGS IN THE WORLD.
DeleteTHANK YOU!!! :') I'll look into it;)
How do you always articulate what I'm feeling so beautifully
ReplyDeleteHailey
www.haileyhudson.wordpress.com
How do you always give me so many feelings LOL <3 <3 <3 <3 THANK YOU!!!
DeleteBeautiful, Olivia.
ReplyDeleteThanks a million, beautiful. :') xx
DeleteOh my goshhhhh the rhythm of this poem is unreal. <3 My English teachers would be analysing 'the flow' of this poem if they saw this. I agree with Erin Marie, you should make a book of poems.
ReplyDeleteAlso, is it bad that this:
"The ghosts of everyone I've ever loved
pressed, slipped, desperately crammed, shoved
between the pages of a plain notebook"
made me think of Death Note? :') Maybe because its coming out on Netflix soon...
OH MYYY, that is such a high compliment I can't. I wasn't even thinking about the rhythm, like I feel very inadequate when it comes to stuff like that, so thank you SO much, jo :') :') <3
Delete(WHAT IS DEATH NOTE I FEEL LIKE AN UNCULTURED SWINE??? hahahhaha)
Lovely.
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU, SAANVI <3 <3
DeleteI can honestly just relate to what you're saying so vividly. "It's not all good, but God is good
ReplyDeleteand I am His, and He is mine."
Like a lot of days, this is the only thing I hold onto. Days get rough and emotions confuse me, but I just have to remember that God is still good and that I need to be guided by his truth.
Thanks for this post and I hope you'll check out my new blog (and maybe follow if you have a chance)!
Yes, yes, yeskjflksdjfskdjfsd. I feel you so deep. Ugh, glad to know I'm not alone in that :') <3 <3 Thank you for reading and commenting AND YOUR BLOG IS BEAUTIFUL!
DeleteI love this so mucb <3
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU SO MUCH, MEAGHAN <333 where is the crying emoji when i need it
Deleteahhhh THIS IS NOT JUNK this is beauty
ReplyDeleteaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhHHH
Deletethank u rach!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3333
This is beautiful and so true - keep up the AMAZING writing!
ReplyDeleteTHANKS, KARA :''''''''''') ur so sweet ajlsdkfd
DeleteIt's not all good, but God is good" <--- yah. truth.
ReplyDeleteamen to all of this.
FEELS
DeleteTHANK YOU LOVE
<3
this is so painful and beautiful. <3
ReplyDeletethank you so much olivia gahhhh <#333333333wjkldfs
Delete