it's night and I'm driving watching the blurry asphalt and broken yellow lines pass under my wheels
and it's like the road is moving along without me.
she's sleeping in the backseat wearing panda pjs and a fuzzy scarf and a striped toboggan and crazy socks and pink converse and she's seven now and I have no idea where the time went.
and I wonder how it's possible that I got to have a day like today coming straight from class and work to spend time with her and go shopping and try on crazy hats and eat ice cream and watch minions.
the radio is playing country music turned down low and I'm driving so slow to avoid braking hard or turning fast or hitting potholes. I want her to sleep while she can.
maybe if she sleeps time will slow down. or maybe it'll be like with me when I blink and the next year is here and gone and she's taller and smiling with two new front teeth.
it's taking me too long to write this. I don't know how to get the knot in my throat out on paper or how to show you the quiet and the starlight and how it felt like we were the only two people in the world tonight.
I think sometimes I avoid thinking about things, because I know once I start thinking I'll start feeling and the deeper I think the more I feel and I don't like that. But then comes the quiet and I can't help either.
"I write because I don't know what I think until I read what I say." - flannery o'connor. I missed it. I miss it.
also, I'm realizing more everyday how much I love my family. it's funny how it takes you till you get older and have to leave to realize just how good things are around here.
:'O just amen to all(even though I'm currently bugged with my littlest sister. ;) you know how it goes..)
ReplyDeleteHAHA wow yes I know exactly how it goes. I feel you. And thank you for the amens. :')
Deletethis is so relatable and yet so unique to you. You're way with words constantly amazes me x)
ReplyDelete*your
Deleteoh my goodness i hate myself lol
HAHAHAHAHAHA SAME. also wow, thank you so much x) feels.
DeleteGAHAHAH I'M CRYING!<3<3
ReplyDeleteSAME :') THANKS FOR READINGGGGGGGGGGGGG.
Deleteyeah okay, just make me cry.
ReplyDeletebtw, what you said about seeing that your family is the best thing ever as you get older is so stinking true. like. yes. tell that wonderful kid happy birthday. <3
okay.
Deleteand right?! urgh just not realizing it. ldsjfjksldf. so much wasted timee.
WOWOW
ReplyDeleteso beautiful
*crying*
:')
Deletethank you hannah <33333333
SO BEAUTIFUL!
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely great writing girlie!
-Lauryn
www.ElegantChances.com
WOW, thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!! <3
DeleteYOUR LITTLE SISTER IS SO CUTE OMG
ReplyDeleteI KNOW MAN I NEVER GET OVER IT
Delete"You fell asleep in my car I drove the whole time
ReplyDeleteBut that’s okay I’ll just avoid the holes so you sleep fine
I’m driving here I sit
Cursing my government
For not using my taxes to fill holes with more cement"
This post was adorable! <3
XOXO
http://everythingisbetterwithpolkadots.blogspot.com/
I TOTALLY THOUGHT OF THOSE LYRICS AFTER WRITING THIS WOW. <33333333
Deletethank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!! ^-^
oh wow the feels. this is so extremely beautiful.
ReplyDeletewow this comment gave me the feels. thank you tons. <3
DeleteOLIVIA WHY DO YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME CRY STOP BREAKING ME
ReplyDeletejk you're perfect never change
wow you're my favorite thank you so much for reading and commenting and being wHO U R.
DeleteThis post smashed my heart in a way that no other post ever has. As in I was laying awake in bed thinking about it with tears in my eyes. <3 this is beautiful and got me thinking hard
ReplyDeleteLOVE U SO MUCH SDFGHJKL
WOWOWOOWOWOWOWOWOW. speechless rn i am. got me feeling all weepy. UGH LOVE YOU BUNCHESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs.
Deletethis is beautiful <3
ReplyDeleteand that doesn't even describe this. HOW CAN I. your words are poetic, beautiful, lovely, and they reach deep. wow. like i'm not even kidding i look up to your writing. DON'T STOP.
WUTTTTTTTTTTTTT. WUT R WORDS/ THANK YOU SO MUCH, AUTUMN, like you don't even know how much this means. THANK YOU <3
DeleteOh my heart. Seriously, this made me feel nostalgic and hopeful and filled with dread at the same time. It touched every corner of my heart. You write with so many feelings and with such beauty. <3
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness. I am a a puddle on the ground. Thank you SO much for reading and commenting this beautiful comment gahhhh <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
DeleteEnjoy the moments you have that are this way. It's loving moments like this that make you thankful for everything. This is for sure a way to start the weekend off right. (Your Instagram post)
ReplyDeleteWOW THANKS :'''''''''') so honored that you even thought this wasn't a waste of time LOL. THANK YOU VANESSA xxxxxxxx
Deleteyep.
ReplyDeletethat's it.
and we went up to the mountains and the wind was blasting through the pine trees and the moon shone bright.
it was okay. my heart was full. still missed people. still wondered what they were up to. but that doesn't stop love from sinking in nice and warm.
God is good.
xx
cally
*** is having feelings ***
Deletei feel you way deep down :')
and it's all so good <3
Hey there! Like everyone else has said, this is really beautiful. I like how you've done the pacing. It is almost a rush, but at the same time, the descriptions are clear which slows it down, and the beautiful, melancholy tone. I like how you've broken some of the rules of writing, but it works for you. You are definitely a talented writer, and you have a beautiful blog.
ReplyDeleteWOW, thank you so much. I feel like you're more perceptive (and definitely more complimentary HAH) about my writing than I am. THANK YOU TIMES A MILLION. <3
DeleteOh Olivia.
ReplyDeleteMe too.
Me too.
thanks for sharing these precious words with me- oh how i needed them.
xoxoxoxo
wowoowowwwowo xoxooxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxxo
Deleteall i have to say to you gah ^
THANK YOU.
I HAVEN'T BEEN SO HIT IN THE FEELS IN A LONG TIME AHAHA
ReplyDelete"I think sometimes I avoid thinking about things, because I know once I start thinking I'll start feeling and the deeper I think the more I feel and I don't like that. But then comes the quiet and I can't help either." >describing my life
WOWOWOWOWOW THAT IS SUCH A COMPLIMENT I CAN'T.
Deleteand dude. infj's know eachothers souls ok.
Oliviaaaaa. This is honestly so real. It's so steeped in the experience; it's not just a description, it pours off the page like water. It's the experience itself. Your writing is SO vivid. That's a gift right there.
ReplyDeleteactually gettin too emotional right now. those words are of such high praise wow :') especially coming from you like lets be honest. thank you so, so much kate xxxxx gah
DeleteWow, love this so much.
ReplyDeleteWow, love you so much.
ReplyDelete