Wednesday, December 23, 2015

bruised

there is a big city. in the city there is a window, among other windows. it's dark. inside is a boy man, but not really a man. He feels like boy, a boy who tried to grow up too soon. that kind of growing hurts, worse than growing pains.
the dark room is lit only by a cigarette, clouded by smoke, penetrated by cold night air. the hands holding the cigarette are bruised, scarred, and trembling.
In this forgotten room he is alone, without a shirt, smoking, and hopeless, with tears inconspicuously slipping down his face. he's thinking about his mother and he keeps thinking and feeling and clenching and unclenching his jaw. his eyes are full of bitter regret, despair, and wetness. he keeps messing with his hands, biting his knuckles, fidgeting, lips trembling between gulps for air.
his neck turns to side and he stops, closing his eyes hard- till he breaks throwing down his cigarette and crushing it into the floor with his shoe
with tears in his eyes, biting his lip, trying to stop it, he sets in to the brick wall, punching it for all he's worth not that that's very much to him forgetting to wrap them. he forgot they were already bruised. he forgot they were bleeding when they started. he just kept beating the wall like it was himself.
then when he had nothing left he flung himself in the thin mattress of a bed and lay there staring at the distant stars, burning, emotionless, alone until sleep took the pain away for then

little did he know his mother lay awake too
looking up to the same stars a thousand miles away
thinking what she would not give to have him back

inspiration via pinterest

37 comments:

  1. I love this so much. I always want to post creative things like this but I get too scared. Maybe I will soon.

    I love how so many words can come from just one picture. I guess a picture really can be worth a thousand words.

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    1. Dude, me too. Please do soon. Pleeeeease. I feel like I definitely need that in my life.
      Yes, me too. I've been dying to give life to the story from the picture for forever. I've had it pinned to my secret writing inspiration board for ages.

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  2. O my stars.

    *bursting into tears*

    this is beautiful Olivia.

    xoxo
    Leah

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    1. *bursts into tears with you*
      thank you so much, Leah <3 <3 <3

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  3. *cries* I love this. What HAPPENS to him, that's all I need to know. I always get so excited when I see a post by you on my blogger dashboard:)

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    1. I guess I'll have to write that part too now;) AW that comment made me so happy. SAME BUT ABOUT YOU <3

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  4. Dude, such power in these words! This line, of all of them was my favorite: "he forgot they were already bruised." That's so telling! There's so much more to know...keep writing! :)

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    1. Thank you so much, Erin!!! ahhh your comment made my day! Maybe I will... ;)

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  5. HEART IS BROKE NOW GOOD SAKES I CAN"T BREATHE
    this is just perfect is so many ways for christmas eve and family and pine trees and slow christmas carols and i'm crying i'll stop <3<3

    thank you for this ((more pls?))
    merry christmas darling xx

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    1. THANK YOU LSDKFJ I just have a lot of feels about him. don't stoP I LOVE YOU <3
      maybe i will??(!!) thank you for your comment :') merry christmas to you too love xxxxx

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  6. oh wowwww, this really hits the heart <3
    ugh, please do more of this! this is wonderful.

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    1. THANK YOU UGH <3 <3 thank you so much lauren :') I was so nervous posting it but you guys make me feel so good about posting whatever I write ^-^ maybe i'll write more- everyone's asking!! (eee) merry christmas xx

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  7. Your writing's incredible, Olivia! It doesn't dwardle on like most pretty writing. I don't know how you can simultaneously write eloquently and get your message across directly. :)

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    1. Ugh, jo, thank you so much!!! that means so much to me ^-^

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  8. this is so ******* beautiful i can't even
    SO SO BEAUTIFUL
    this is incredible, i love how you write olivia

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  9. i agree with jo, you get the point across and it's still so eloquent and pretty <3
    merry belated christmas, olivia!
    ALSO LIKE THIS. yeah. this was super cool, dude. just saying. i love it.

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    1. thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu aggh i literally love when you lovely people comment on here so much it makes me so happy!!!!!! SO THANK YOU. AND MERRY CHRISTMAS ^-^ ♥

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  10. Oliva how did you become so talented? Teach me your ways! I love this a lot. And you!

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    1. AGH, thank you!!!! THIS WAS THE SWEETEST COMMENT EVER. Love you too ^-^

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  11. OHHHHH my word. i thought i commented on this before. you got the fire, girl. you're going to blow them to bits. <3<3<3

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    1. wahhhhhhhhhh thank you isnt a big enough word <3<3<3

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  12. OH MY GOODNESS SO. First off, the fact that you mentioned this post in your reply to my comment on your other post and told me to go read this because you wanted my opinion?? THAT MADE ME LIKE HKSJFNSKNDDS SO FREAKING HAPPY AND HONORED. LIKE. I CAN'T. EVEN. ♥ You are such a special beautiful person. Had to be said. Now onto the post. ;)

    OKAY like I'm gonna just read this thing linearly and interrupt myself to FNSKND over in this comment because FEELS. The whole picture you're painting here is so. accurately. gorgeous. and. amazing. Like it's so real, but also in another dimension -- the despair you're painting in this poor broken darling, almost like a soul-detached-from-body sort of experience. I CAN'T EVEN DESCRIBE IT BUT YOU DID and it's perfect. omg.

    "he forgot they were already bruised. he forgot they were bleeding when they started. he just kept beating the wall like it was himself." < YOU ARE MELTING ME LIKE A CHOCOLATE CHIP IN THE HEAT OF THE SUN WITH THIS. LIKE STAHP. (like don't stahp but y'know..) And those last three lines. omg. THERE IS SO MUCH EMOTION IN THIS I CAN'T EVEN. I just can't. This is probably not very helpful feedback. but how can I be helpful wheN MY FEELS ARE CRIPPLED. I AM CRIPPLED OKAY?? okay.

    And yus I agree with Liz you should totally post more stuff like this. Because you're a phenom writer and gAH. YUP JUST KEEP SMASHING ME WITH YOUR AWESOME CREATIVITY UGH.

    love you.
    abbiee

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    1. Literally what do I even respond to this comment this is the best thing ever. Also, let's be honest, when I said I wanted your "feedback" this is what I was really talking about. ;) THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH FLKSJFLKDSJ. YOU ARE THE BOMB DOT COM. OK OK I'LL KEEP SMASHING YOU WITH MY CREATIVITY AS LONG AS YOU SMASH ME WITH YOURS TOO ;) I LOVE YOU ABBIE. ps if you read this, how do you do italics and attach a link to your name in the comment???

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    2. AWW YAYY I'M HAPPY GIRL. You're a true talent. gAH. I CAN'T EVEN. oki. Deeeep breaths. As for making italics and hyperlinks, it's just a bit of html code (because blogger allows some simple stuff in comments.) I'll put spaces between each character in the example here, but when you type it out for real, you'll need to delete the spaces so it works correctly. ;)

      < i > this makes something italic. < / i >

      < a [space] h r e f = " http://www.abbieemusicblog.com/ " > this is a link to my blog. < / a >

      (And if that was confusing, where I wrote [space] means there is an actual space between the "a" and the "href" -- otherwise, all the spaces have to be deleted. WOW I'M SO BAD AT EXPLAINING TECHNICAL THINGS SORRY. XD hopefully this is understandable!! :D)

      love,
      abbiee

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