cling

Tonight I walked slowly from the mailbox

The afternoon warm on my skin

It's quiet and I hold onto it like a lifeline

I watch the sun play with the shadows

And I am conscious of how desperate

I am to turn the darkness into light

I hear cars pass by, a few lingering birds

And the shouts of the kids down the road

The neighbors are cooking Indian food

And the smell of spices wafts from the open door

I'm writing lines of poetry in my head 

Before the moment's over

And I am conscious of how desperate

I am to turn the darkness into light 

How I cling to the darkness

How I cling to the light

So I cling to these seconds

Where the light shines through

And I cling

Like a sentenced man

To You

coming of age

What is it about this coming of age

Watching from the sidelines

As your kids do what you've 

Always wanted them to do

You keep repeating

This was the plan

This was it

But the moment comes and

The fear clenches you in the jaw

As you pass your daughter's hand away

And you want to scream and cry and demand

That you be able to trust this man

More than your own body and soul

To respect and love and care for your baby girl

Or you turn to hug your son 

So young and so old, a man

One last time before leaving him 

And it all just breaks

You're embarrassed 

Because he's fine

And this has been 

The plan all along 

But when did it happen?

You watch them walk off

Start the engine

Shut the door and 

Drive away with streamers

Flailing behind them in the wind

And it's hard not to hate it–

The way the happy tears slip and fall

And all the other ones burn and mix with them

Every fear and regret and guilt and foolish love

What is it about summer

That this coming of age thing

Happens over night

Like a firework

Like a slow sunrise

Like the cows coming home

Or a gunshot at dusk

And they're gone

Done, it's over

And you're left wondering why 

Asking for another day

One more minute

When they were just your own

The whole world ahead

And you beside