do i?

I come back to my

Childhood home

And sit on a new bed

I still don't fold my

Laundry for five days

And wear my old Duke shirt instead

Last week I went for

A walk and it was

Like going back in time

Coming back to 

This place

So familiar

And changed

They cut down Mom's

Dogwood last week

Without even asking

Last night it was stormy

When the farmer in the tractor

Was mowing the field

I tried to walk

Fast enough to miss him 

At the corner

And I didn't wave

But I still walk 

Barefoot over the ruins of a

Once paved gravel road

I still look at the

Sky unflinchingly

When I can

Pad down the dirt paths

I still strain to keep the curtains

And windows open and let all the

Light in that will come

I still worry too much 

About my younger brothers 

And what a year will bring

I still bask in the sun and

The velvet blanketed dusk and 

My husband snoring on my arm

I still laugh too loud and ride

Bikes occasionally and make breakfast and

Floss when I think about it

And I know 

I'm ignoring the question 

Again

But it's just that

There's too much to unravel

Tangled up in the trees and the pine needles and the cicadas scratchy legs

Lately I answer you in a different

Tongue and it comes out wrong

Do you understand me?

Do I?