I am disillusioned
With you
The way you send me home with groceries
Only to have them go bad in two days
The way you told me as a child
Not to be afraid and now give me new, and old,
And real reasons that I should fear every day
The way you lie to me
Trick me into
A facade of control
The way you take
Without once looking back
Or offering any kind of collateral
The way you brutalize your guests
Leave us crawling forward
On our knees with no
Where else to go
And
I am disillusioned
With you
And yet
Am I?
I still pour myself
A bowl of cereal late at night
And eat it on my couch
Against all odds
I still go by the library
To pick up my books
And watch the kids laugh and run
While their moms tell them to
Slow down
I still listen to the music
Reaching from his
Open door
I still like the softness of my lips
The wide openness of the earth at sunrise
The ache of this pen in my hands
I'm still fascinated with the way
You don't make up for any of it
But here I am still
Writing and romancing
The disillusionment of you–
The beauty
And callousness
Of this awful earth
