My aching bones are stretching in the morning light

The sunlight yawns across the living room floor

My coffee steams and swirls with cream

And I can’t stop myself thinking,

“What did I do to deserve a morning like this?”

The answer comes in the silence of the microwave beep,

“Nothing.”

And it is enough

I know

Been easy to look for

All the right things in

All the wrong places 

So I breathe deep

On my drives 

When I can roll the windows down

I sit still on my couch

Trying not to squirm

My chest an open wound

And I know

I know

I write when 

My mind and 

My heart 

Want to run 

The ink runs deep

Through the page 

Into the earth 

And takes root

And I talk 

Stumbling and then running 

To the one who meets me there

Like friends

And I know

I know 

you don’t know

You don't know about the nights I spent

Listening to the songs you sent

You don't know how many times I played that song on repeat

Listening for something, waiting for the epiphany

I never told you about that

I would've been embarrassed 

That I cared enough

That I didn't understand

That I hated that song

But I'm not embarrassed anymore

Because the epiphany never came

And the song still sucks

And it's weird how the memories can make you feel small

But I was never small nor will I ever be

And I am not waiting anymore